Wednesday, December 3, 2008 at 12:31pm.
well, after several attempts the laundromat finally managed to lose twenty pounds of our laundry. awesome. we knew this would happen. it's crazy there and basically the most expensive drop-off service in the world (95 cents a pound?! seriously?!) so of course they'd totally fuck us over. there were a few close calls where they'd give us half of our laundry or take an hour or so to find it, but they're so friendly and they gave us free laundry bags to make up for it, and it's not like they lost anything, so we decided to keep giving them chances to lose our clothes.
yep. that's just the kind of person i am; if you almost (but not quite) fuck me over, don't worry, i'll keep giving you chances to complete the job. also, i think i was a little bit masochistic. i felt so bad for making someone else wash our clothes, i was basically begging them to punish me for it. it didn't help that it was a mexican owned and operated store and every time i dropped off my soiled clothes off and begged them to please not shrink anything this time, i felt a COLOSSAL amount of white girl guilt. convinced they must have thought i was a total bitch, i tipped extravegantly, and often. what? you handed me my hanger? here's $5. in retrospect that may have made them hate me even more. rich white bitch.
but i liked that place. and not just because it was convienently located on the corner, but because they hung our clean laundry on hangers instead of folding, and they did such a good job (most of the time. actually, on several occations they shrunk my cute, cotton, summer tops. four, to be precise.) oh well, i did it to myself. time to start hitting up the messy place across the street... at least it's only 65 cents and claims to be "environmentally friendly" (meaning they're too cheap to use hot water). i am SUCH a bad wife. i deserve to have my clothes lost...
also (to continue harping) it was all the summer clothes i planned to pack for St. Maarten (our honeymoon) this weekend. oh well, goodbye pretty honeymoon panties, helllllloooo hanes her way. orion now owns NO beach shorts, swim trunks, or lazy clothes. where are we going to get that stuff in the next four days and in december?! i couldn't even find a store that sells flip-flops so late in the year. gah.
we visited the inlaws over the thanksgiving weekend and they are awesome. seriously. the more of orion's family i meet, the more relieved i feel. not just because (miraculously) nearly all of the men in his family have full heads of hair even in their old age, but also because they're so cool. his step-mom is so funny and we get along so well. i never believed any of the fruedian boys marrying their mothers business, but his step-mom and i are SO much alike. plus his aunts and his cousins are all so funny. sometimes i feel bad that his family is so scattered around the country that i probably won't meet all of them, but i keep up with quite a few online and exchange emails with a few more. i don't want his family to think i'm stealing him from them and mashing him into familyland, so i try and encourage him to keep up with them and visit when we can.
speaking of familyland, my dad gave me the 'ol "when are you going to start building my dynasty by procrating" chat on thanksgiving. apparently (according to him) his seed is so fruitful that if we lived in another century he could have 200 children by new. ek, ewww, ugh. disgusting. i need to start doing my part to fulfill the dynasty. i had to break the disappointing news that our kids would have my husband's name. it was not received well but c'mon, i have six strapping brothers, orion has one.
however, after finding out from orion's fam on thanksgiving that there are quite a few sets of twins on both mom and dad's side i believe i've been scared straight. i've taken to answering all the holiday queries about children in one of two ways, i either shake my head sadly and say, "i'm sorry, i'm barren." or i let them know that since we haven't gone on our honeymoon yet we've been careful to not consumate our marriage. both of those usually shut them up. or elicit snickers...
now, on to the more pressing news of my upcoming birthday party: you all better be there. and bring some cute single girlfriends for my brothers. it's going to be so much fun, and it'll be so good to see everybody in one place. at christmas time. i have a feeling it'll turn into an impromptu high school reunion, but i love all my ol NCP friends, so whatev. bring everyone you know and wear your dancin shoes.
oh, one more thing. to totally discredit myself as intelligent and college-educated, may i just say that last night's bad girl's club was AMAZING. season three will undoubtedly be the best yet. seriously, if you don't watch it, start right now. there's this crazy hot bitch who walks around topless all the time and really, gravity should not allow boobs like that on anyone over 14. aw-some. AND.... to further discredit myself, if you haven't seen Forgetting Sarah Marshall yet: go. rent it. now. HI-LARIOUS. if you liked Knocked-up, you will love it. and if you didn't like knocked-up delete me from your friend list because you are seriously lacking a sense of humor. or you're way smarter than me. either way, beat it. (how many friends will THIS note cost me, i wonder...)
PS: i think i'm on facebook WAAAAAY too often. i'm starting to think in third person status updates more or less constantly....
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