music and remembering

Here are some things I'm thinking about:

the first and only song arliss has ever sang at karaoke was "lights" by journey. it was 3:30 in the morning and a very very cute boy asked her to sing it with him and she was too drunk to resist.

the first and only song liz has ever sang at karaoke is "american girl" by tom petty and that's because i waited til she was drunk enough and then signed her up for it. it was adorable, but she was mortified.

when i first started dating my husband i was psyched to get the new eminem cd. he railed against the rampant misogynistic, racist, elitistism running through all of his lyrics. so i burned him a copy and he fell in love with it. in fact he listened to the cd so much that he wore it out and i had to burn him another copy. he told me, "you don't make any sense-- you carry designer bags and listen to horribly sexist music. why don't i hate you?"

my friend sara only ever sings "strokin" by clarance carter at karaoke because she says it's just dirty enough to be popular but not dirty enough to be skanky.

my favorite rolling stones song is "beast of burden" i used to listen to it again and again as a child and i even developed a dance to go along with it.

my favorite elvis song is "little sister" with "jailhouse rock" coming in a closeclose second

my little sister rachael has the most gorgeous hair. when she was little she refused to cut it and so when she was 4 it trailed all the way down her back to her bottom. most of the time she was driving me crazy, but sometimes i just couldn't help but see her tiny head tossing all that hair and think she was just the most adorable baby sister ever. after 3 little brothers i was so thrilled when my mom found out she was finally having a girl that i cried when she told me. then my mom and i went to the thrift store and bought about a million frilly outfits. we were so excited.

when my little sister ann marie was born the midwife let me cut the cord. i was the first person to hold her after mom and dad. for as long as i can remember she has always loved music. when liz and i used to babysit her, we knew singing to her or playing some music would always calm her down for a few minutes no matter how upset she was. i took full advantage of this and taught her to sing all sorts of songs. she was probably the only 3 year old to know all the words to "copa cabana" by barry manilow. we then moved on the "magic stick" and "i will survive". she had such a showgirls personality it was so much fun to teach her to sing and dance.

my favorite bob dylan song is "like a rolling stone" with "don't think twice" coming in a close second.

my favorite neil young song is actually a tie between "harvest moon" and "only love can break your heart"

my favorite memory is of my mom taking me to buy "Beauty and the Beast" the week it came out on video. It was winter, and we were pretty broke. we didn't even have a car at the time. and one morning my mom just told me to get dressed we were going to bike to the store. all of my siblings wanted to go but she told them that only i could. we biked through the snow to aldi and while we were shopping she told me i could get it and i was so surprised i thought she meant that i could get it for christmas, but no she meant i could have it right away. i think i watched it over and over again for about a week. ok, a month.

whenever i'm in a bad mood or sick i always watch the The Godfather (always 1, occationally 2, but never godfather 3). not that long ago orion postulated that it was because it reminds me of my family, more specifically my dad. that's probably true. it makes me feel like i'm home.

my freshman year in college i took italian specifically so that i could understand all the music and italian dialogue in the movie. really.

one time, i must've been about ten, i overheard my older brother dave on the phone talking about a girl who liked him "but was so boring. so BORING" something about the way he said it had me vowing to never be a boring girl. i think it affected my development as a woman. actually, i think having brothers at all affected my development as a woman-- how do girls without them grow up and understand men?

my favorite john lennon song is tricky because it changes depending on my mood- but i really like "look at me" "god" and "watching the wheels"

but my favorite beatles song is "rocky raccoon" because my dad used to sing it

i lived with arliss for most of my first year in college. although it ended in a pretty serious rift it was one of the best times of my life. people have these memories of "dorm life" and "keggers" but i worked full time throughtout college, so most of my "college memories" are me and arliss doing crazy things like walking to le saber at 3am for cheeseburgers.

when i was working at the toystore with sara during christmas time we used to do stock in the basement and listen to "the delilah show" on lite fm. at first i made fun of it because it was so cheesy, but i still listen to it because it reminds me of her. when she moved to boston i was sure we wouldn't be friends anymore. but we still are. she's the only friend i have that, i think, has my exact same sense of humor. we laugh at the exact same things and so occationally we call each other and say things like, "listen to this, can you believe no one else thought it was hilarious?!" orion always knows when i'm talking to her on the phone because of how much i'm laughing.

when orion and i were first living together we moved in an apartment under lance and carissa (they were on the 3rd floor, we were on the 2nd) lance and i had worked together and never really got along, but so much happened that year and the four of us changed so much together that it sort of bonded us for life. carissa is one of the most interesting people i've ever met. right from the get go she intimidated me with how smart and pretty she is. i've heard that in life, you're most attracted to friends who remind you of yourself, some kind of psychological ego thing-- no matter what is happening in my life i know that carissa will understand completely without ever having to explain it to her. it's like we have the same brain or something. and after all these years lance has become one of my best friends.

i sometimes wonder about small moments that hold enormous potential. i'm always going back and wondering "what if i hadn't worked at the toystore?" "what if i hadn't moved below lance and carissa?" "what if arliss and i didn't work to repair our relationship after we lived together?" i know it's stupid, but i'm always trying to evaluate what could have happened if event had been slightly tweaked.

going to the bahamas for an archeology dig my junior year of college changed who i am as a person.
i believe i found myself on that trip. i'd met orion right before i left and was intrigued by him. the whole time i was on Sal Salvador (which is a tiny island with no street lights or anything) i spent a lot of time just amazed by how many stars there were- and there was the constallation orion, right above me so clearly the whole time i was there. i remember having this "cresting" feeling, like my life was about to change in some remarkable way; like events had already been set in motion and all i had to do was follow them out.

there have been very few times i've gotten that "cresting" feeling. it's unbelievable. like being at the top of a roller coaster. i know that right now things have already been set in motion that i can't even begin to imagine. one day i'll look back on this blog and say "those are things i wanted to remember then" and then i'll have a whole host of new things to remember...