"asshole"

Wednesday, June 06, 2007
Current mood: working

right, so i just called someone an asshole in class tonight. it was not pretty.
basically we were arguing about the pedagogy of the oppressed and trying to identify who and what is "oppressive" in our society. it's the last class of the year, and i am not a political science major. i don't know all the fancy terms and i haven't read much political literature. so i mentioned that maybe instead of trying to fight everyone (which i think is our society's biggest problem- it wants to fight everyone) we should just become like kurt vonnegut did before he died: men without a country.

Ok, so we're boycotting gas and demanding organic petfood and marching for a hundred different causes every season and our government has proven itself to be more empire than democracy. Bush doesn't care about pleasing the people; he doesn't care about his approval rating. we march, he yawns. i find this intensely frustrating.

my class has spent the entire quarter arguing that this new America is not a democracy, not even a social society, it's an empire. so i said, that maybe the thing we should try is turning our backs to the government that turned its back on us. maybe the crazy backwoods militia people we all make fun of are on to something. maybe it's time to get a cabin in the woods and resign from american life. No walmart, no voting, no gasoline. and i know you're thinking that i can't possibly get the depth of that, or how hard it would be, but i would rather eat stewed cicadas than continue to pursue a political life in a society that does not recognize my personhood. it's possible, isn't it, that maybe instead of forcing the government to acknowledge our demands by protesting and shouting we can just say, "fuck it" and walk away. if enough people do it, wouldn't it be more effective than anything else?

so, of course, the rest of the class wants to assume i'm speaking from a "privileged" perspective. that i'm some poor little rich girl who has idealized the whole Thoreau/Emerson "i'm going to gain personal agency by isolating myself from a corrupt and materialistic society. Oh wouldn't it be so romantic to rely on nature's goodness..." NO. i haven't. i acknowledge that this is not the most feasible plan but i am so sick of hearing about how everyone is supposed to be fighting everything all the time.

you know that part in The Matrix where the traitor guy makes a deal with the bad guys to betray the rest of his team as long as the bad guys re-insert him in the matrix with no memory of real life? i think i may be the only person in the world who's ever understood that. and everyone hates that guy. how can he give up on humanity like that? i know my peers frown upon complacency, but isn't it possible to just get tired?! i'm freaking 23. i'm exhausted. compared to a lot of other people i have a LOT of rights. can't i just say "fuck it"?? i'm not an immigrant, i'm not gay, i don't own a car, i get free healthcare and a shitload of financial aid.

I guess what i'm trying to say is: "is it possible to be happy in a society where you know other people are being oppressed?" Is it acceptable to insulate yourself completely from society's ills?

I kind of see my relationship to the government as a dysfunctional marriage. as long as he's not bothering me, i don't bother him. i go out late and he doesn't ask any questions. i know he's cheating on me, but i'm taken care of and comfortable with our arrangement. eventually, i know, it'll all blow up. and when it does, the only thing that really makes sense is to just walk away. why would you fight to maintain a relationship that was dysfunctional all along??



Currently reading:
Pedagogy of the Oppressed
By Paulo Freire
Release date: September, 200