Friday, July 11, 2008 at 10:18am.
Here Is a List of Jobs I Think I'd Be Really Good At:
-teacher at oprah's school in Africa.
-chiminey sweep
-door to door kitchen goods salesman
-obituary writer (actually i did do this while i worked at the funeral home, and i was quite good if i do say so
myself)
-probation officer
-rehabilititation therapist
-criminal psychologist
Here Is a List of Jobs I Would be Willing to Do:
-free-sample passer outer
-sassy waitress
-sketch comedy writer
-sexy nurse
-british nanny (technically i already am a nanny)
-historic novelist
-romance writer
-unlicensed "massage therapist" on craigslist
whoa. it feels good to just get that out there. i really feel like the first step in finding a good post-college job is to just organize your thoughts and figure out what you can see yourself doing. many of these jobs require more schooling (and some of them actually require less. i'd definately need to unlearn some things). When i imagine myself in the working world it is always in the context of a sitcom, where you never actually see the charecters working, you just see them get off of work dressed all fancy and talking about what an asshole their boss is. i know what i'd like to wear to work, i know what kind of boss i'd like to have... i just don't know what kind of job i'd like to do...
i'm a capricorn. and i hate to say that like it should explain everything, but i am. and it does. capricorns like fancy things and they're hard workers. in fact, my horoscope today says something to the effect of "work hard! play harder!" it's like an advertisement for Bally's. I want a respectable career where i get to wear suits and carry a louis vuitton briefcase and vacation in Bora Bora. god i love the boras. i know it sounds awful, but there's nothing i'm really passionate about. when i imagine myself getting up and going to work everyday it's almost like i'm playing a part. i don't want a job where i have to be myself. i want a job where i get to be Career Grace or Starving Artist Grace or Flight Attendant Grace. like a barbie!!
i really feel like saturday morning cartoons and my collection of Barbies have really mislead me. all those "you can be anything you put your mind to!" sentiments have really chafed my ass. actually, you can't be anything you put your mind to or i'd be Judge Marilyn Milian. or an astronaunt. i think a lot of other poor kids in the city feel me. i mean, my family never even took a vacation and i'm going to go to space camp? yah right.
i think one of the main problems i'm encountering when applying for a job is that i want my life expirience to count for something. yes i have a BA, graduated cum laude, did a bunch of college overachiever shit... but more importantly i spent a year working the night shift at a haunted funeral home! i went on an archeology dig! i have nine siblings! i know swear words in nine languages! i feel like these these things should count more than my work in depaul's shiterary magazine.
so, my question to you people is: am i holding out too much?
am i like the promise ring girl who ruins relationship after relationship because she won't put out even after a solid year of dating the perfect guy? am i like the sex and the city wannabes who won't "settle" for an amazing guy who just happens to have a lot of back hair or a weird mole? in other words, is it wrong for me to hold out on all these meh jobs waiting for one where i get to be myself and not myself playing a role? should i just bite the bullet and be a working class hero already? i know the economy is bad and i know the rest of you poor slobs are doing data entry and office pee-on crap... but does anyone else but me think that a broadway show will be written about their life after they die? oh. ok then. nevermind. no, really, i'm not trying to say i'm better than you, no honest, i just really thought i was the only one who had thoughts like that. ok, so we're ALL shit out of luck? ok, just checking.
fuck this, i'm totally gonna pop out a kid and watch cable all day... haHA suckers!
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